Same but Different

After a few years of living in Asia it’s easy to kid yourself into thinking you have it all worked out. That you have unlocked all the nuances and subtle differences within the myriad of cultures here.

But it’s not a delusion that lasts too long – especially when you don’t speak enough of the local language well enough to order dinner properly. Pork brains anyone?But it’s fair to say that after a while you pick up on patterns of behavior that keep re-appearing, especially when you’re in the business of looking out for them. Of course these differences are dwarfed by bigger universal truths that connect us. As my colleague Richard, a strategic advertising planner for the region would say, these truths are what drive us underneath it all. The need for love, for acceptance, to not be alone, to be creative – and they are as relevant in Bangkok as they in Belgrade.

But overlaying these factors are other local truths that are the natural result of geography, history, language and religion. Not that Asia is mono cultural – there are obviously huge variations between and within the many countries in the region – but there are enough differences that need further exploring. Why? Because most articles and presentations and conferences I see in Asia are still mostly focused on western behavioral norms that are assumed will apply here. As if the only difference with Asia is that they are a bit behind the curve. And that’s a mistake.

It’s true that in a global society things can look similar in Asia – everything from the latest gadgets to the fast food and movies, all have a similar feel. But a closer look reveals that it’s not only the flavors that are different - what’s driving them also varies. Rather than mimic the west, people in Asia are changing cultural norms to suit their requirements and in the process creating something quite unique.

I’ve mapped out 5 differences below that I’ve noted – and I’m putting another 20 down in a book I’m writing. Hmm yes it’s book number 2; the first one is finished and in editorial terms ‘needs more work’ :)

Difference #1: Just western enough
While people want to show they are open to global trends and overseas tastes – they also respect and value their own ‘popular’ culture more than they used to. (They have generally always valued their traditional culture) It means that you like a local DJ, you admire a half-Asian celebrity, and watch local Asian movies and not just Hollywood fare. But it’s much more than just that overworked term Asian fusion. At a time when Korean and Japanese pop cultures are taking Asia by storm – it also means that you look to these cultures as popular role models as much as the west.

There is a new Asian pride for youth here and it means the traditional role model role of the west is shifting. As trend setters for music art and culture – Seoul, Shanghai and Tokyo or rivaling London and New York. Asia is no longer looking to the west for validation. Influence yes, approval no. The balance of power in the culture wars is definitely changing.

Difference #2: A better digital reality
In the west there is a debate about whether online creates a new reality to rival the real one. In many parts of Asia, for youth there is no question – online can provide an escape to a world more rich and diverse than their own. In China youth are flocking online – through virtual games and social networking sites – where they can interact and escape in ways that their own economic and social limitations make impossible.

When you have to live at home with your parents until you are 30, when you have less social opportunity to meet the opposite sex, when Asian youth need to escape – you can do it online and it’s not an alternate reality. In many cases it’s a better reality. That’s why the growth in online games, in social networking and dating sites, and alternate reality communities and blogging – Asia will continue to lead the world.

Difference #3: My way, ok?
It’s an old cliché that collectivism rules over individualism in Asia – that rather than focus on what’s good for you it’s what is good for your family, company or group of friends. I’d put a different spin on this – people now do what they want to achieve in their own way. The influence of changing social and economic factors has meant the emergence of the success gene, although some would argue it was always there. But winning is different – it’s not just about showing off or just standing out from the crowd. It’s success achieved in a way that is acceptable (even if only superficially) to others. Asians are not loners and don’t generally want to stand out from the crowd as being different for difference sake. They want to stand out for success and want to be embraced for that.

That’s why there is very little fuck u attitude from Asian youth – they crave acceptance for what they achieve and strive hard to make it acceptable to older generations. Family still matters in Asia, but now it’s acceptable to put your own personal needs in there as well. That’s a tricky balancing act for many to strive to achieve. And it’s one of the reasons you see so many ads here with happy successful families with the nice house, new car and happy kids. That sort of aspiration is acceptable, at the moment the Donald Trump model is less so.

Difference #4: Mentors matter
Whether it’s the sempai/kohai relationship in Japan or P/Nong pairing in Thailand - so much of your personal relationships in education, family and the work place are dictated by your mentor or peer groups. These people will guide you on your path and the deference and respect you pay towards them is crucial to understanding the responsibility people feel for others in this part of the world. You simply don’t make it on your own here – you owe a debt to others which needs to be repaid.

When you get a handle on this you start to see how people’s actions make sense. You begin to see the influence these groups have in the in those at the work place or at college, and why people do things that are seemingly counter to logic or their own best interests. They are in their interests; they just have a wider view of it that’s all.

Difference #5: Heart on my sleeve
It’s a seeming contradiction – in so many Asian cultures, public displays of amorous affection are not seen in the best taste. And yet, public pronouncements of love or romantic desire are acceptable. One look at the movies, the pop songs and much of the literature in the region, and it seems very saccharine to the western taste. But for most people here it makes a lot of sense. There are different theories, for example that in more conservative societies it’s all that people can get away with. Or that it reflects a focus on family values, and less on individual and sexual selfishness, and is therefore officially embraced.

Well for me I think it’s that and something more. I’ll elaborate in my next post but I think the myth of romanticism is much more important here then in the west. We have had our social and sexual revolutions over hundreds of years – so we are generally (but not always as my gay friend would argue) up for a discussion on sexual freedom and liberation. Most of Asia has not had that revolution. And the pace of change has been so rapid whole societies and morals have been brought into question – almost over night. In that situation you hold on deeply to the myths that bind you with that past, even if they are just myths.

Asians by and large are not less promiscuous or less open to the changing of sexual mores. But the promotion of the romantic ideal is one way that people can still feel that the core values of family and fidelity are still alive and well. So while I see romantic illusion, many people here and in particular younger people, see virtue and strength. It gives them the re-assurance that some things still matter and there is nothing more powerful than a collective myth that binds people together. That’s why Valentines Day, romantic pop and romance novels are growing faster in Asia than anywhere else. Oh, along with porn that is. Hmmm…